My Secret to You
by kylemacy08
Summary: What happens when your love for someone completely overwhelms you and you just can't keep it in any longer. Unfortunately, Gary had to find this out the hard way. It's rated M for future chapters. First Story! Read, review, and have fun!
1. Someday

**Ok so here's my very first story that I will be writing. this is only the first chapter and it will get to be more extreme.  
I don't own the Pokemon franchise. I don't own Gary (I wish I did.) and I don't own Ash. If I did, the world would be completely different.  
So here it is! Chapter One!**

**Chapter I: Someday**

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One step into the Vermillion City Pokémon Center and I saw it. I never expected that I would ever see his face again. Those chocolate brown eyes, that lush, black hair, that goofy looking hat, it was like I was seeing something from my dreams. NO! I can't be thinking about a boy I've known my whole life like this! It's just not right. Damn, he's gotten bigger. STOP! I can't do this!

"Gary?" He still sounded the same. I tried to hide my face as much as possible, but unfortunately, I failed.

"Uh, hey Ashy-boy. I haven't seen you since the Sinnoh region. Where have you been hiding this whole time?"

He looked different from the last time I saw him. He no longer wore the "adventure" clothes that I usually saw him in. He wore a tank top that showed off his muscular build and some swim trunks. He looked amazing. GARY! Stop it. You can't think of him like this! This is too much. I have to get out of here.

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the beach with me and hang out?" Ash was standing there waiting for acceptance.

"Uh, sure. Let me just get my things from my room and I'll be out in a bit." I walked as fast as possible without even giving Ash a chance to reply back. I unlocked my door and slammed it shut and slid down the door until I was sitting on the floor acting like a barricade for my room. With my head in the knees I sat there for what seemed like forever but was actually only a few minutes.

I grabbed my things, threw on my swim trunks and slowly walked out the door and locked it as I stared down the hallway to the main entrance. Luckily he was stil standing there waiting for me. He looked so amazing. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be, maybe I do think of him like that. I have to stop. He doesn't think that way. We're just friends. That's it.

I soon realized that we weren't going to Vermillion Beach. We went through a small forest and around some giant rocks. The walk although was long and quiet. I hardly said a word and I felt bad because Ash was trying to start a conversation and all I could say was "What? Oh yeah." and "mhmm". Things became awkward between Ash and me. I knew he was wondering what was on my mind and what was worrying me. But I didn't want to tell him because I was afraid of what he was going to think. Was he going to run away? Was he going to ignore me? Was he going to make fun of me when he saw me?

After passing a few more rocks and up a giant hill we finally we had arrived to the beach. It looked like one of the beaches you would find in a Hollywood movie. It was deserted, surrounded my cliffs that made it so no one could find the place.

"Hey Ash, what is this place?"

"Its a beach I found a few months ago. I found it while training for the Sinnoh League. It's nice isn't it?" I dropped my things and rushed towards the soft sand and listened to the sound of waves crashing onto the beach.

"Yeah it's amazing! I'm glad that it's only you and me." I paused. Did i just make a mistake?

"Ya. It's nice. We can catch up on a lot of things. I mean it's been a few years since I've seen you." A breath of air and a sigh of relief was the cure for my awkward moment.

We ran towards the glistening ocean while our shirts were ripped from our bodies. Water was splashing everywhere and the sound of laughing could be heard a mile away. I saw his body as the water caressed his chest. I knew what iIwas feeling at this moment. I wanted him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and call him mine. But I knew that that wouldn't happen. All of a sudden I felt this knot in my stomach. And it felt like I had lost all hope. I couldn't have him. I was in a gaze the whole time and when I left my thoughts and came back into the real world, I noticed that Ash was looking at me in a perplexed way. I thought of something quick and quickly an idea hit my mind. I pushed him into the shallow water so that he was completely undwerwater and began to laugh. He then splashed me and pulled at my ankle so I would fall into the water as well. Ash quickly got up and held me down with only my head above the water. He then stopped and began to laugh. I felt so happy. This was the first time in a long time that I actually felt good about myself I didnt have any of those thoughts anymore. Ash was sitting on top of me wondering what happened to me. There I went again. My face was blank and I finally came to my senses and pushed him off of me, and walked out of the water and sat on the warm, soft sand. Ash soon followed behind.

We were soon laying on the sand and talking about what has happened during the past few years. We caught up on a lot of things. I couldn't help but look at him more and more. His strong, muscly build, strong arms, tight stomach. He may have sounded the same, but he certainly didn't look the same. I now know what is happening to me, but I didnt want to accept just quite yet. I was too afraid. I was falling in love. but not with anyone. with someone that I've known my whole life, my best friend, a guy. Is it possible that I could be gay?

**Ok so this is what I have for you readers. No worries, there will be more. :) please comment. I love it when people comment on my stories and tell me to change a few things. Thanks! I know this chapter's kinda short, but it's my first time doing this. So, yea. **


	2. Here Goes

**Hey guys! Sorry I've been super busy with school and crap like that and haven't been able to type anything up for a while. But now, since I finally have a life outside of school, here is the next chapter for my story Secrets. Hope you like it! :) **

I can't be thinking these things about my own friend, by best friend. Are we still best friends? Or does he think of me as just a companion. All hope had just flushed out of my face. As usual, Ash was looking at me, confused. He does that a lot. I laughed to myself for a bit.

"Are you ok Gary?" stuffing his face with French fries from the Pokémon Center mart.

"Yea I'm fine. I'm just thinking about stuff."

"Oh yea? What are you thinking about?" Ash said wiping the ketchup from his face.

"Oh you know the usual. Gramps, Pokémon…. girls (What the Fuck was I saying?)

"What guy doesn't think about girls?" he said laughing. A striking pain hit my heart when he said that. I knew then that he didn't like me in the same way that I liked him. I tried to hold back the tears from falling into my already cold coffee.

"Hey Ash, you wanna go back to the beach with me? I feel like I just need to be there." I tried to start a conversation with him

"Sure! I have nothing to do today anyways. And I kinda wanna get away from the city life anyways." He jumped from his seat and acted like he was rearing to go.

We walked slowly, looking at the scenery and discussing random topics. We passed that odd rock that looked somewhat like a Steelix… at least until we found out it was a Steelix. But once we got away from the destruction that came with seeing the Steel type, we started to laugh. I laughed so hard I began to cry. We got up and continued to walk towards the beach. Finally we were there.

"Ah the fresh air of the beach and the Wingull droppings." I said trying to crack a joke. But as always, it didn't seem to phase through Ash's thick skull. I chuckled a bit while I was putting my stuff down in the soft sand. I turned back only to find Ash's amazing body running towards me. He was so beautiful. On a scale from 1 – 100, 100 being the hottest ever, he was a 6000. He pulled my arms and dragged me over to the water. Unfortunately my clothes were still on when he pushed me into the shallow water.

"Oh No! You did not just do that!" I said pretending to be enraged. I pulled him into the water and wrestled with him until I was either too tired, or just wanted to lay with him in the water forever.

"Gary! Get off! You're crushing me with your FATNESS!" he screamed while laughing.

"Make me! I bet you're not tough enough to do anything about it." I said flirting with him. But apparently I underestimated his strength and he pushed me off and began to tickle me to death! Well, not to death, but pretty close. I pulled him into the water and began to tickle him until he was exhausted. And there I was, sitting on top of him, tickling every part of his body, while he was laughing. I went for it. I did it. I kissed the man of my dreams. It was heaven, his lips were so soft. It was like like mine and his were meant for each other. But that's not what Ash thought.

"What the fuck was that! Why did you do that! Gary! Answer me!" I knew it, he was mad, I lost my friend. My love. My everything.

A few seconds later, I was sitting in the water alone, Ash walking away, and I was left there, crying. All was lost, everything was gone. I just sat there, like an idiot and let him walk away without even trying to explain. No, I can't let this all go away, I had to tell him the truth; everything was going to change today!

"Ash! Come back! I want to talk to you! Please!" I said crying after him while running.

"Get away from me! There's nothing to talk about!" he said with tears running down his face.

"Ash... why are you crying? I just want to talk to you, please. I can explain." I said to him.

"What was that back there, why did you do that? What went through your head that made you do that!" he stood there screaming at me while my head was hanging like a rope off of a tree with tears hitting the ground.

"Ash, I'm sorry, ple..."

"Sorry doesn't work Gary!" more pain in my heart "I...I... I hate you!" those three words killed me inside.

"Ash, please, don't say that. I don't want to lose you as a friend! I don't want to lose everything we've had as friends. What I did back there was stupid (no it wasn't). I can't lose you. I won't lose you. Please Ash just hear me out." here it goes; I was ready to tell him everything I felt about him.

'Why should I hear you out? You're not my friend!"

"Don't say that." now it was more like rivers were rushing out of my eyes. "Ash... I... can't lose you, please. You mean everything to me; you're the closest friend I have. What I did back there was something that I've wanted to do since I saw you in the Pokémon Center. The reason I did it is... bec... because I..."

"Because you what! Huh Gary what is it! Just tell me! It's not like anything can make me even madder than I am now."

I went in, kissed him again, but this time, forcefully, not wanting to let go, tears rolling down my face. "It's because I love you! I love you Ash Ketchum! I always have! I've wanted you so badly! It hurts for me to hear that you hate me. Please Ash.

Ash stared at me with a blank face. Then, I could see the hurt in his eyes. He began to cry. He turned around and walked away, his things over his shoulder. I figured he was going to walk back to the Pokémon Center, get his things, and walk away, never to see me again. It was all over. Everything was gone; I made the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't want to live anymore. I needed to see him just one more time. By this time, I bet he was only a few hundred yards away, not even hitting the city limits yet. I figured I could catch up to him in a matter of seconds, but I figured I should let him walk for a bit. I sat back down in the sand next to the water, put my head between my knees, and began to cry.

What seemed like forever was only about 5 hours, which was forever. I woke up from sitting on the beach where Ash left me. I decided to get up and began to walk back to the Pokémon Center. About 20 minutes later, I finally arrived to the Pokémon Center and I went to my room and washed up and realized how bad I looked from today. Bags under my eyes, tear streaks, hair a mess, I looked awful. I hopped in the shower and sat there for a bit and every time I closed my eyes, I saw reruns of today's event in my head. It was like going to a bad movie over and over again. Oh what was I going to do? I really fucked up.

I turned off the water once i realized it went cold, dried up, put on my pj's, and sat on my bed, relaxing there, thinking about my day. How I wished it would have turned out. After I came back into real life, I noticed something on the floor. It was a letter.

"Gary" was all it said on the front. I was too afraid to open it and read it. Even if it could have been from someone else, I still didn't want to read it.

I opened it.

**YAY! I finally finished it! What could be inside the letter? O.o who knows. Well…. I do. My next chapter should be up soon. In fact, I've already started it! Reviews please! Tell me what you think about it. If there's anything interesting you would like me to add to it, just message me, and if I like it, then I might add it. Thanks!**


	3. Room 19

**Hey guys! Sorry this chapter took forever to upload. I've been busy with my stupid AP teachers throwing finals on us like 4 weeks early! ANYWAYS! Here it is Chapter 3 "Room 19". OH and if you didn't notice, the Title of my Story was changed because I felt that the title was a little…. Vague….. yeah… HAVE FUN! :D**

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Dear Gary,

I know this is something that is tough to talk about. I'm sorry for what happened today. I want to apologize for everything I have put you through these past few hours. What I did back there was stupid and immature. I didn't mean to put you in that situation of losing a friend. I don't want to lose you as a friend Gary. Sometimes I ask myself if I deserve having a friend like you. You're my best friend ever. Nothing can break us apart.

"If I could have just one night,  
To be with you and make things right,  
Then what we were and what we are,  
Is hidden in the scars .

If I could take you there,  
I won't let go, this I swear.  
You don't have to wonder what we are,  
Cause you won't have to ever look too far,  
It's in the scars."

There are some things in life that I can't risk losing, and one of those things is you, Gary. If we could, you know, talk about what happened and maybe sort this thing out, we could be friends again. I hope that you see this letter as an apology and as an acceptance to be my friend again.

Love,

Ash

Tears fell from my eyes and onto the note, smearing the ink around. I dropped the letter on the floor and grabbed my jacket and rushed to the front desk.

"Nurse Joy! I need to speak to Ash Ketchum right now!" I practically screamed in her face.

"Uh, I'm sorry sir he just left. He said he was on his way to Celadon City." She replied as if she was about to faint. Dammit. I lost him. I need to find him. I can't let him go without telling him how I TRULY feel.

I ran towards my room, grabbed all of my things, stuffed them in my backpack like a kid who was late for school, and quickly rushed out the door but not forgetting the letter on the floor. I put my key on the front desk and rushed out the sliding glass doors and hurried as fast as I could towards Ash. By now I expected that Ash was close to Saffron city.

It took me a few hours to get to Saffron City, but I figured it would be logical to stop here because of the storm that decided to follow me. I walked into the rather large Pokémon Center only to notice that it was practically empty. I walked up to the front desk and saw Nurse Joy.

"One room please…" I mumbled to her with my head down.

"Very well, here you go. Please have a nice stay here. If there is anything you need, please let me now." When she said this, it looked like she screwed on a smile right before I walked in. She looked like she would want to do something rather than nothing at all.

"Uhh, thank you." I grabbed the key off the table and rushed out of there as fast as possible, down the hall and slowly looked for my room. I could not get Ash out of my mind. His hair brushing across my face as I hold him close in my arms, keeping him safe, not letting go, holding him tighter and tighter, wanting to kiss his lips and taste them all over again. But this time I want him to want it. Sometimes I regret doing that to him on the beach, but I couldn't resist. I couldn't hold back. I wasn't thinking. I could have lost my best friend, the love of my life. I don't want that to happen. I won't let that happen. Not in a million years.

It wasn't until I came back into reality that I realized that I skipped my room entirely and was, in fact, on a completely different floor. The only problem was, I had no idea where the stairs were so I didn't know how in the world I got up here. I noticed the number on the door decreasing so I figured I was going the right way. I can't believe it, I am the only trainer in the history of history who got lost in a Pokémon Center! Epic Fail!

Eventually I found my way to the stairs and found the floor I was supposed to be on. It wasn't very hard to find my room; it was the first one I looked at. I opened the door and threw my bag on the floor and went straight to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, I noticed that I looked like something that was thrown out of a house and ran over by a 16-wheeler. I guess that the memory of Ash was really getting to me. He was on my mind constantly…. I have to get to him. But first, I need some sleep, I look terrible.

_~~~~~~~~~~!FAST FORWARD!~~~~~~~~~~_

The storm had finally past and was probably devastating the Cerulean Cape. I laughed at the thought of all those people at the Nugget Bridge screaming and flying around in the storm. Before I headed out of the city, I asked a few people if they had seen Ash anywhere. Unexpectedly they told me they saw him headed towards Celadon City. Why would he be heading there? GAH! No time for questions. I quickly headed towards Celadon City. Good thing though it wasn't very far away, only about an hour.

Celadon City seemed to be a very festive city, much more colorful since the last time I was here, which was before I retired from being the Viridian Gym Leader. Wow, that was a while ago. I sort of ran into the Pokémon Center, got a key, and threw my stuff into my room and quickly ran out of the Center and thought of where Ash would be…. The Celadon Gym, The Department Store, this may be harder than I thought. I decided to go to the Celadon Gym first. Walking towards there, I noticed how many girls there were in this city. Too bad I don't like them. I like Ash. I love Ash. In no time I had reached the Celadon Gym, but unfortunately, no luck. I Even Asked Erika, The Gym Leader, if she had seen him.

"Sorry Gary. I have not seen him. The only time I see him is when he's on T.V. battling another competitor!" She finished and soon began laughing so hard it became awkward to stand there.

During her laughing fit, I snuck out of the gym as fast as I could and began to walk to the department store, which got bigger the last time I was here, GREAT! Now I have to look for Ash on another four floors! Happy day for me! NOT! Walking around the multiple floors and going up and down the elevators really wore me out; not to mention it was getting pretty late. It was already almost 6 o'clock and there was still no sign of Ash. Eventually, I decided that there was no hope in finding him in there. The city seemed to slow down and the festivity died down once it got dark. I slowly walked into the Pokémon Center having this feeling of defeat, but that all changed when I looked up to see what time it was. It was 7. But that wasn't what changed my life, below that clock was a bundle mess of black hair that was getting bigger and bigger. Ash. What was he doing? He's coming towards me? So many questions were circulating through my mind: Oh man, what am I wearing? Do I look ok? Why is he smiling? Why am I trying not to cry? Why am I not running away?

"Hey Gary." A faint smile was on his face, his eyes looked like they were dipped in water and beginning to overflow.

"Ash. I'm so sorry for everything." Was what finally exited my mind and out of my mouth. He looked so beautiful. I felt like a jerk seeing that tear trickle down his cheek.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him towards the hallway where all of the rooms were. He stopped at room 19 and opened the door. The room was plain. A king size bed was against the opposite wall with a bathroom next to it. A small night table was placed next to the opposite side of the bed with a Pokégear placed on it. Surprisingly, there was a giant flat screen T.V. hanging on the wall next to the door.

He took me to the bed and we both sat on the edge in silence. We sat there for about 5 minutes staring at the floor until he finally broke the silence.

"I'm sorry for hurting you Gary. I didn't mean to run away from you, or say any of those things."

"Ash, you didn't do anything wrong, I did everything, I didn't mean to hurt you. Everything is my fault." I said sitting there beginning to break down, tears flowing out of my eyes.

"Gary…"

"I never should have….. never should have kissed you,"

"Please… stop."

"I don't ever…. want to hurt you….ever again." My words were broken apart by my sobbing. I couldn't help it anymore.

"Gary, stop, please!" Ash now was holding both of my hands trying to calm me down.

"Please Ash, I just want you to forgive me for everything I have done to you." I was bawling now, tears were rolling down my face. "I can't lose you Ash, I don't want to lose my best fri…."

My words were stopped by two softs lips against mine. I immediately stopped crying and my eyes shot open at the sight. Ash…. Was kissing me?

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**TADA! Finally! Ash kissed him! It took him forever! I'll try and get this next chapter up as soon as possible…. Which might be whenever…. So yeah. REVIEWS POR FAVOR! (Yes I'm going all Spanish on you!) :P **


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